President Donald Trump and his billionaire pal Elon Musk want to merge government databases — the better, they say, to ferret out waste and fraud. But the government already knows quite a lot about you, as this story from The New York Times demonstrates. To paraphrase the old saying, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not watching.

Meanwhile, here’s how you know that Canada still is our friend: Even in the midst of a trade war with the United States, our Canadian friends are still investing in the U.S. economy — in this case, by purchasing billboard space lambasting U.S. tariffs.

This week’s fun fact, courtesy of a New York Times story about President Trump’s talk about a (clearly unconstitutional) third term: According to a 2019 study, one-third of the world’s incumbent leaders who reach the end of their constitutional terms try to keep power, a proportion that rises to one-half if the most advanced democracies are not counted. Among 234 incumbents in 106 countries examined, none explicitly ignored their constitutions, but sought to evade limits through supposed loopholes, novel interpretations or constitutional revisions. That all sounds familiar.

So, here’s a related story: If you’re curious about President Trump’s recent executive order on elections, there’s no reason to be: It’s essentially a blatantly unconstitutional power grab based on baseless (and never proven) claims of widespread voter fraud. The infuriating thing here, of course, is how shameless Trump and his acolytes are in repeating these baseless claims. (You can see a little bit of the same dynamic at work in Republican legislators’ efforts to undermine Oregon’s vote-by-mail system; the good news here is that those bills in the Legislature appear to have no chance of passing.) Writing in The Atlantic, Paul Rosenzweig outlines Trump’s efforts to gut free elections.

Here’s an interesting story from The Oregonian/OregonLive’s Julia Silverman that other news outlets might do well to localize: Silverman looked at the rate of teacher absenteeism from 10 metro districts. She found that at least 36% of teachers in each of the districts qualified as chronically absent — that is, they missed 11 or more school days during the year. The issue is complicated by the fact that teacher contracts typically include generous provisions for time off, but in the past, Silverman said, teachers just banked those days and cashed them in upon retirement. Another complication: the state’s new family leave law.

With all this going on, you might need a laugh or two. Dwight Garner at The New York Times, who’s read a couple of books in his time, makes the case that J.P. Donleavy’s satirical book of advice, “The Unexpurgated Code,” could be the funniest book ever written. And, unless Garner has stolen all the book’s best bits for his piece, it does sound like this 50-year-old book might be a hoot to read. And maybe more fun than one of the books I currently have on my bedstand, “Cold Crematorium,” a riveting account of life in Auschwitz by a survivor; the book, first published in 1950, finally was published in the United States last year.

Your 401(k) or your IRA likely has taken a beating over the last week. But what’s the status of what Atlantic columnist Arthur C. Brooks calls your “Happiness 401(k)?” Brooks outlines seven steps you can take to build the balance in your happiness account — and, like your IRA (maybe), these will pay off handsomely in the future.

The humble water bottle has come a long way since the company Nalge discovered that its employees were taking its unbreakable Nalgene bottles on backpacking trips. Now, in addition to staying properly hydrated, you have to worry about what your water bottle says about you, as this Associated Press story reports.

I can talk for hours about newspaper comic strips — these are, in my view, art forms in their own right, and unique (by definition) to newspapers. I’m awestruck by the people who can pull them off, day after day, year after year. And I am still prepared to defend my decisions to add strips like “Phoebe and Her Unicorn” and “Breaking Cat News” to the pages of the Gazette-Times back when I worked there. So I was a little disappointed to see the news that Dana Simpson, the Northwest native who created “Phoebe,” has decided to stop producing original daily strips and to focus on new Sunday strips and graphic novels (the novels have been big successes). But I understand — and I remain a big fan of the strip, which is unusual among newspaper strips in that its protagonist is a young girl. (Also, I appreciate that Simpson’s decision in theory could open the way for another young comic artist to find a spot in newspapers.) By the way, Simpson was born in Pullman and now lives in California. They were part of my not-so-secret agenda to add as many Northwest artists as possible to the Gazette-Times.

Speaking of me, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve joined the staff of Lookout Eugene-Springfield, a new online news organization that aims to replicate the community newspaper — but without a printed product. We officially launched on Thursday, and our goal is to cover Eugene, Springfield and Lane County with thoroughness and care. We’re free for the first 90 days, so check us out at lookouteugene-springfield.com

That’s it for this week. Stay alert — and, of course, stay hydrated.